Quick Draw
by codexfawkes
Summary: "I shouldn't have snapped." River answered standing up and facing him. "Hell girl that weren't snappin, Kaylee with PMS and no sugary stuff now that's snappin like a gorram turtle." Jayne said grinning.


Quick Draw

By Codexfawkes

Summary: "I shouldn't have snapped." River answered standing up and facing him. "Hell girl that weren't snappin, Kaylee with PMS and no sugary stuff now that's snappin like a gorram turtle." Jayne said grinning.

AN: I own nothing, Joss is Boss.

River sighed as her alarm went off signaling the start of the day cycle on Serenity. Rolling over with a groan River turned off the alarm and sat up rubbing her gritty eyes. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, between the amorous pursuits of half her crew mates and the nightmares of the rest River hadn't been able to sleep at all. Climbing out of bed River straightened her covers and dressed for the day before heading to the kitchen. Setting the coffee to brew she started making a large pot of protein oatmeal. She was stirring the pot on the stove when Jayne yawned his way into the room. He took a mug and poured himself some coffee adding powdered milk and some sugar as he absent mindedly watched her stir. Jayne took a sip of the brew and realized how tired the girl looked. "You alright there girlie?" he asked with a frown. "Didn't sleep much." River answered not looking up. "How come you didn't ask your brother for somethin'?" Jayne asked sitting at the table. "Because I didn't want his gorram drugs. Why is it that whenever I have even the slightest off moment there's someone standing there with a gorram needle?" River bit out dropping the spoon and rounding the counter.

"You know I get enough of this crap from Simon, I don't need it from you. You think it's easy knowing he's constantly watching waiting for me to stumble so he can shoot me full of yet another drug that isn't going to do a go tsao de thing? I am not a science experiment gorram it!" River told him angrily as she made her way past him and out the door. Jayne sat there in shock staring at the now empty doorway with his mouth hanging open. "What the hell did you say to River?" Mal asked angrily from behind him. Jayne whirled around in his seat. "Nothin, just asked if she were okay." Jayne defended. "Then why the hell was she yellin at you?" Mal challenged. "I got no ruttin clue, honest Mal." Jayne replied bewildered. "Well you had to have done somethin to set her off. River don't lose it no more and I ain't heard her yell in almost a year. Go apologize." Mal ordered. "For what?" Jayne exclaimed annoyed. "For whatever it was you done said that set her off like that." He replied. "But Mal…" Jayne argued. "Longer you sit here arguin the longer you're givin her to stew on things. Best just get it over with." Mal said in his best Captain voice. Jayne set his mug down with more force than was strictly necessary and got to his feet glaring at the other man. "I'm doin this under protest." Jayne snapped as he stomped toward the door. "Duly noted, long as you do it." Mal shot back pouring himself his own cup of coffee.

Jayne clattered down the stairs into passenger country and crossed over to the dorms, coming to stop at her closed door noting idly that Simons bunk was dark and the door wide open. Jayne took a breath and knocked on the girls door. "Come in Jayne." River invited her voice a might calmer than it had been a few minutes before. Jayne opened the door and stepped into her space, leaving it half open behind him. "Just came to apologize for pissin you off. Not rightly sure what I did but I didn't mean nothin." he said realizing he actually meant it. "It's alright, it wasn't really you. It's really a combination of little things mixed with not enough sleep. I shouldn't have snapped." River answered standing up and facing him. "Hell girl that weren't snappin, Kaylee with PMS and no sugary stuff now that's snappin like a gorram turtle." Jayne said grinning. River laughed some of the tension fading from her shoulders. "And I get what you was sayin, about the smoothers and all. You can't take stupid stuff I say serious like ni zi. Never did get no filter between my brain pan and my mouth." Jayne told her somewhat proudly.

River laughed as she moved past him toward the door. "You aren't doing as bad as you think you are, you ren." She said with a smile leading him out into the corridor. "River are you… Jayne?" Simon questioned confused walking toward them. "No I'm not Jayne, I might be the ship later though." River answered with a mischievous smile. "What are you doing coming out of my sisters bedroom?" Simon demanded ignoring River. "Would ya rather I came_ in_ her room?" Jayne mocked. "We were just talking Simon." River said crossing her arms over her chest angrily. "Did he touch you mei mei, are you okay?" Simon asked grasping her upper arms in concern. River shook him off angrily. "Fo zu jiùmìng, I'm fine Simon. Jayne was in my room a grand total of five minutes and only because Mal told him to come get me." River told him annoyed. "Five minutes is plenty of time for him to…" Simon started only to be interrupted. "Simon Tam if you honestly think that a man could satisfactorily sex up anyone in five lousy minutes then Kaylee has my sincere and heartfelt sympathy." River sneered before moving past him toward the stairs. Jayne followed behind her grinning his way past Simon. Seeing Jayne's smug face seemed to snap Simon out of his stupor. "River," he called walking after them. "Don't you think your foot's far enough down your throat there quick draw?" River called back, gazing at him imperiously over her shoulder before continuing up the stairs.

Jayne burst out laughing following her back into the galley. "Quick draw, darlin you sure got one hell of a way with words." He told her chuckling as he sat back down at the table. "I take it you all worked things out." Mal commented as River served herself some oatmeal. "Yes, Jayne apologized and so did I. It truly wasn't his fault Sir, I'm annoyed with Simon and Jayne got yelled at." River told him. "Told ya," Jayne said smugly. "Albatross are you tellin me this lummox actually told me the truth?" Mal asked with exaggerated disbelief. "Fraid so Cap'n." River agreed sitting across from Jayne. "Guess that means next time he claims not to do anything wrong I should give him the benefit of the doubt huh?" Mal asked joining them at the table, sliding Jayne a bowl of oatmeal and keeping one for himself. "Would be a nice gesture Sir." River replied sounding eerily like Zoe. Mal heaved a put upon sigh before digging into his breakfast. "So what ya zi de pi gu thing did the doc do now?" Mal asked casually. "What he does best, jump to conclusions." River admitted wearily. "Well lil albatross that firmly falls in the area of not your problem. " Mal told her. "Just keep callin him quick draw, he'll shut up right quick enough." Jayne encouraged grinning. "Quick draw?" Mal asked confused. "Oh you should a seen it Mal." Jayne cackled delightedly leaning forward to tell the story.

Mal burst out laughing at the by play between the siblings with Jayne and River joining in, their laughter ringing through the echo-y old ship. Soon they were laughing harder than they'd laughed in years. After a few minutes they started to calm down when Jayne glanced at River and they started all over again taking Mal with them. Simon, Inara and Zoe arrived at the kitchen at virtually the same time, having followed the laughter. "Are they drunk?" Simon asked confused. "Maybehaps, they could at least share if they are." Zoe replied wryly as she leaned against the wall. "Zoe!" Inara gasped in faux outrage complete with a hand to the chest. "Gotta keep you guessing." She teased. "We got space monkeys?" Kaylee asked coming up behind Simon. "Might do better with monkeys." Jayne bit out to renewed laughter from the others. "Rabbits!" River gasped out moving two fingers like hoping bunny ears and making a buzzing noise as she did. This odd maneuver had the other two clutching their sides and pounding the table with laughter. The rest of the crew stood by watching in confused fascination as Mal, River and Jayne were reduced to helpless laughter and couldn't help smile at the sight. Eventually the others drifted away leaving the trio to their joke and buoyed by the mirth filling the ship. Zoe headed for the bridge, sinking down into the pilots seat and caressing the yolk. "You have a hand in all this laughin' husband?" she asked. A feeling of warmth surrounded her in response and a laugh bubbled from her throat. "That's my man."

Chinese Phrases

go tsao de: dog fucking

ni zi: little girl

you ren: friend

fo zu jiùmìng: Buddha help me

ya zi de pi gu: dumbass


End file.
